When I was a detective, I arrested one of the most dangerous, violent psychopaths I have even met in my life. I will call him Charlie, not his real name. Charlie had beaten a Good Samaritan almost to death, a Good Samaritan who tried to intervene and help Charlieâ€™s girlfriend from an assault by Charlie. The Good Samaritan simply said, â€œHey, whatâ€™s going on?â€ Thatâ€™s it. Charlie attacked him and brutally beat him. The Good Samaritan was a meek, mild law-abiding citizen who happened to live in a crime-infested area of the city.
Charlie never, ever accepted an arrest peacefully. He alway fought. Always. He resisted arrest the same way he resisted his conscience that tortured his soul. Every time I arrested Charlie as a uniform #streetcop or as a #detective, he calmly said the same line: â€œYouâ€™re gonna have to fight me.â€
â€œYouâ€™re gonna have to fight meâ€ was part of Charlie’s DNA. Fighting was in his blood – dual meaning. First: He fought every inner demon imaginable including his DNA addictions – Drugs â€™N Alcohol. Second: every fight he lost with himself prompted a fight with someone else. When he lost those fights, he reverted to fighting with himself. The #LosingStreak of lost fights inside and out caused incalculable mind-body-soul pain and suffering to victims, to Charlieâ€™s family, and to Charlie himself.
But, it was easy to get the truth from Charlie in the interrogation room. Always. The line that always worked was one of my top 51 best interrogation practices: you will never make anything out of yourself until you stop lying to yourself.
Charlie always listened to that line. Always. It struck a chord. It appealed to his conscience. People said that Charlie didnâ€™t have a conscience. But that wasnâ€™t true. Everyone has a conscience. People who say that someone doesnâ€™t have a conscience are conformists who regurgitate myths they hear and repeated re-cycled thought that justifies their lack of will and capacity to get a confession out of psychopaths. It justifies their laziness that prevents them from even trying to get the truth out of psychopaths like Charlie.
Charlie confessed with the following statement:
â€œYa seeâ€¦like, I mean fuck, like itâ€™s the juice, like you know? Likeâ€¦ah fuck, I donâ€™t know, you know? Sooooo, like, I see the guy right? Like, he should of stayed the fuck out of it, like right? Like, fuck me, you knowâ€¦like she wasnâ€™t listening so I banged on the door, right? Like, right, you know, like ok, so this is how you want to do it? So I’m like, aw manâ€¦I donâ€™t know, I’m like I said just stay the fuck out of it. So I’m like, I had this bat, like, I mean, likeâ€¦ya, I just snapped.â€
â€œI just snapped.â€ Same line in every confession. Every time Charlie got arrested – â€œI just snapped.â€ Every confession was a trainwreck of filler words with the truth somewhere in between.
Then I said the same thing I always said to him – â€œYouâ€™re going to piss away your whole life as long as you keep lying to yourself. You just keep fucking lying and fucking lying and fucking lying. You never get tired of it no matter how fucked-up you get.â€
Charlie stared and remained silent. He stared at the wall. Then he stared at the floor. Then he stared at the ceiling. Silence isn’t always silence. It’s often a loud message. Then he said, â€œAw fuck.â€
Then I did the same thing as always – (i) got Charlie to confess to unsolved crimes he committed. (ii) got to tell who was selling drugs to him and committing crimes. Charlie became my #4 best informant of all-time because he had no problem telling the truth after he got caught. Until all hell would break loose in his head.
One of the top 26 Real-Life Lessons I’ve taught over 25,000 athletes and college law enforcement students is nothing changes for the better in your life until you practice self-honesty.
One reason for being out of shape in mind-body-soul is not being honest with yourself. The reason careers and businesses fail is lack of self-honesty. The reason why relationships disintegrate is the unwillingness and incapacity to tell yourself the truth.
Left-unchecked, self-deception becomes a deep-rooted habit. It gets in your blood. Lying to yourself becomes part of your DNA. Then your lies spread, offline and online. You post bullshit and read other people’s bullshit. You talk bullshit and listen to bullshit. Then, its too late. You’re broken and broke. Then you resort to scrolling and searching online for celebrities who feed you more bullshit.
Here is the good news. When you finally are honest with yourself, you will get in the best shape of your life physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. You will cure the pain and suffering of Underachieving Hell that is torturing your soul. Even more good news – student-athletes listened. The reason is they don’t have theÂ #AdultApathyÂ that has trapped adults deep inside Layers and Layers and Layers of Limitations that squeeze the life out of them.
I wrote a book called â€œThe Mystery of Murder: Working with the Dead.â€ My goal was to write the most unconventional motivational book that inspires readers to lead a full life. Here is the link: https://ginoarcaro.com/product/working-with-the-dead-audiobook/
Blessings and all good things