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PMS part 2: identity crisis

Here’s Real-Life Lesson #3,551 that I’ve taught football players for 40 years and college law enforcement students for 2 decades: positively identify yourself. Dual meaning.

First meaning: I was blessed to have been a college law enforcement professor and program coordinator during a 2 decade career after I quit policing in 1990. But I suffered extreme Culture Shock. I believed I would be teaching and providing academic leadership to young adults. I wasn’t. Most days, I felt I was an elementary school principal. College students were divided by the 10-90 Ratio. As we entered the Post-Modern Era, the Post-Modern Syndrome (PMS) affected over 90% of incoming freshwo/men. Over 90% of incoming freshwo/men had not matured into young adulthood. They were stuck in childhood. Less than 10% of freshwo/men were mature young adults.

There are many symptoms of PMS. One symptom is the inability to properly identify oneself.

“What’s your name?”


My six grandchildren are all 7 years and younger. That’s how they identify themselves – by first name only. It’s expected because they are children. It’s not expected from adults. It happened last night at my gym X Fitness with a grown adult. He asked me a question about hiring me as a a strength coaching. I asked him his name. “Larry.” Having to ask, “What’s your last name?” of an adult is evidence of a crisis – a social crisis and an identity crisis. Adult PMS victims who are stuck in childhood are confused about their identity. That’s why they answer, “Larry.” They don’t know who they are.

Less than 10% of students and athletes I taught, identified themselves by both first name and surname. I had to teach college students what they should have learned in elementary school – how to positively identify themselves by first and last name. I taught them that no employer will ever take anyone seriously who identifies themselves as “Brenda.” I had to teach adults that positively identifying yourself by both first name and last name is the first step of standing out of the crowd in the job selection process.

Second meaning: Over 15,000 people apply to be cops every year in Ontario. The 10-90 Rule governs the selection process. Less than 10% get hired. Over 90% get cut. The 10-90 Rule is a merciless Darwinian Process that selects the strong and cuts the weak. In order to become a 10%er and not get cut, you have to positively identify yourself by action. This means you have to do something to be able to be picked out of a large crowd. Your performance has to be impressive enough to stand out from the rest. You have to separate yourself from the rest. Dual meaning – distinguish yourself by distancing yourself from the pack and from excessive down time. Dual meaning – unproductive time and depressing time.

PMS is a crisis. It has caused an identity crisis. Those suffering from PMS are confused over identity because they have been spoiled, sheltered, and coddled to an extent that has stagnated growth in mind, body, and soul. There are 15 dimensions of maturation. PMS victims are deficient in 90% of those dimensions. Many young adults are stuck in childhood. They are unprepared for real-life. The solution starts with the basics – teach children in elementary school the value of positively identifying oneself, both kinds. Teach them the value of self-respect, starting with the basics of fundamental communication. Strong communication skills are the main elements of establishing strong, meaningful relationships, personally and professionally. I have taught football players and students for 40 years that we are all judged by our communication style. You can’t erase a bad first impression. You can’t delete negative identification. Here’s the good news. College students learned. They changed through tireless coaching/mentoring that exceeded simple basic instruction. Your kids will do and not do exactly what they are taught and not taught to do. Everything we do is learned through a complex interaction of First Nature and Second Nature learning development.

Communication strength doesn’t just happen. It requires a major investment of teaching and learning. It’s easy to ignore the responsibility of teaching kids communication strength, hoping they will learn it on their own. They won’t. Self-directed learning is the most deficient type of learning. Find a coach/mentor who will separate you from the rest. Dual meaning.

This is a copyrighted excerpt of a new book that I’m writing intended to lift in the fight against PMS.

Our new website is a multi-media platform. Our mission is to lift. Our new website is centered on the concept of Blunt Talk Motivation that includes Blunt Talk Podcast, Blunt Talk Blog, and Blunt Talk videos. The links to the new website are the same as before and

Blunt Talk Podcast recently reached its 77th country and passed the 25,000th download milestone. Our blog had another record-setting day in August. We have had 176 podcast guests, all who have a soul of a lifter. Each Blunt Talk Podcast is a free, permanently archived download at: Each episode is guaranteed to lift. We are humbled and blessed to connect globally with tens of thousands of listeners, viewers, and readers. Blunt Talk Podcast podcast includes ongoing chapters of a free audiobook called The Mystery of Murder: Working with the Dead. If you want a free review, raw e-book, please email me at

#muchlove #soulofalifter

Blessings & all good things.


Gino Arcaro M.Ed., B.Sc., Level 3 NCCP (Nat’l Coaching Certification Program)
Football Head coach – Niagara X-Men Football
Gym Owner – X Fitness Welland Inc.

Gino Arcaro is a widely published author. Currently, he is finishing another book in his non-fiction series: Mystery of Murder: Working with the Dead. All published books are available on on and www.Chapters/, in both soft cover and eBook format. Additionally, his website, features his books including:

Football coaching and non-fiction books: SWAT System: Offense and Defense, SWAT Tackling Video (with accompanying eBook), and 4th & Hell: Season One and Season Two

Business Books: Selling H.E.L.L. in Hell, True Confessions, and eBooks: Soul of Selling, and, Real Business Relationships = Sales

Fat Loss Book: Fat Losing

Workout System: eXplode: The X Fitness System

Motivational Books: Soul of a Lifter, and eBooks: The Pledge, and, The Focus

Children’s Books: Be Fit Don’t Quit, and, The Beauty of a Dream

Policing Textbooks: Arcaro’s Interrogation Case Law

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