Every time I post anything with the phrase â€œunresolved conflictâ€ anywhere on social media, it gets shared and re-Tweeted. In May, 2013, the following statement that I posted was shared and re-Tweeted the most of anything I posted that month â€“ â€œUnresolved conflict is exhausting. Drama is draining. Every moment spent in unresolved conflict is a moment wasted in hell. #keepliftingâ€
Every time I use â€œunresolved conflictâ€™ in a speech to my football team, I get 100% attention. Same thing happened for 20 years in college law enforcement classrooms. Iâ€™ve said â€œunresolved conflictâ€ countless times during business meetings for my gym and publishing company and itâ€™s never failed to attract listeners. Try it if you want to increase the number of likes. Use it in your next speech if you want to be a better public speaker. Post it. See what happens. Use it in a motivational speech to yourself or to your team. I guarantee it will work out. Remind people that unresolved conflict is exhausting, that drama is draining, and that every moment spent in unresolved conflict is a moment wasted in hell. See what happens. I guarantee youâ€™ll get full attention. People will listen. And they will get motivated to do better. Hereâ€™s why. It strikes a chord. Any reference to â€œunresolved conflictâ€ resonates. Your audience will believe you about the hell of unresolved conflict because they know itâ€™s the truth based on personal experience. They fear the hell of unresolved conflict as much as they fear anything else.
Your audience will know the side-effects of unresolved conflict are true because theyâ€™ve live it at some point. They experienced it, felt it, hated it. They know that unresolved conflict is a raging hell that can burn you up and along with your entire team. Escaping hell and preventing going there are the most powerful motivators known to wo-mankind. If your motivational speech works, your audience will look to you for an escape because escaping hell and preventing a return is a life-long journey. Itâ€™s a work-in-progress. Escaping hell takes one step at a time. So does staying out of hell. And we all could use some help. We all need a leader who can pave the way and rescue us from the hell of unresolved conflict by lifting us to safety when the weight gets too heavy. Or at the very least, give us a program so we can do the work and heavy lifting ourselves.
Either way, the greatest leaders are those who point us in the right direction and lead us out of hell. The worst leaders are those who drag us there.
Iâ€™ve decided to use this as my Preface for motivation and leadership books Iâ€™m writing. Actually, I stopped using the word Preface in all my books. I use Chapter Zero instead. The reason is that I want to be completely different.
Gino Arcaro M.Ed., B.Sc., NCCP Level 3
owner â€“ X Fitness Inc.
head coach â€“ Niagara X-men football team