One of the worst feelings that interferes with #peace is knowing that you are pissing away valuable time during your limited attendance on Earth consumed with irrelevance, the smallness of life that will sink you into a hell-hole of pettiness, jealousies, bitterness, frustrations, and resentment, all of which suffocate your spirit.
The biggest decision we have every day is how we let others affect us. We can let others burn us up or we can let them light a fire inside us to reach the next level and the next and the next. All of us, no exceptions are assholes from time to time. The key is to change. Learn from being an asshole and get better. The real problem is when we get worse, when we become bigger assholes. It’s part of the human condition to be an asshole. But it’s not part of the human condition to remain one. There are limitless definitions of ‘asshole’ but here’s a basic one – a conflict addict. Those addicted to drama and horror. Conflict addicts are fueled by hatred. Hate is not created equal. There are multi-levels of hate. But a high-level hater is one who is a chronic critic hell-bent on discouragement.
Every profession I’ve worked in taught me the same lesson – true, authentic encouragement is rare. Not the disingenuous niceties exchanged at going-away parties, not the artificial ‘likes’ posted on Facebook, and not the two-faced backslapping that gets replaced by a knife stuck in your back by behind-your-back attacks by those who lack the courage to be real. Genuine encouragement is rare because of the interest-rate – it needs high-interest in the success of others. High-interest in the success of others is rare because it doesn’t fit the common interest rate – self-interest.
High interest in the success of others is therapeutic, a remedy for dark spots on the soul that grow by demonic presence that is hell-bent on torturing the soul to achieve what evil wants more than anything – wasting God-given gifts. Evil loves wasted potential. Evil’s best weapon to win the fight for your soul is conflict. The more conflict, the more waste of time, energy, and potential.
The difference between #peace and down-in-the-pit-of-hell unhappiness is who you let influence you – encouragers or discouragers. There are only two types of influencers – those who lift you and those who depress you. Those who shine light in your life and those who darken it. Those who light your fire and kill your fire.
I used to thank God Almighty after every workout for “letting me do this.” Now I do it more often. I thank God Almighty before, during, and after workouts because of a sense of urgency that warns me more frequently of the true hell of wasting time on conflict. Coaching football taught me a perfect way to deal with assholes – give them a chance to change for the better or they cut themselves from the team. Lift them by showing them exactly how to lift. Present a growth opportunity of a lifetime. Then let them choose. I don’t cut anyone from my team. They cut themselves if they don’t like raising the bar. There’s a bad frequency that can kill your spirit and your team’s spirit. The Spirit tells me to send this message over and over again: “This team needs to get better, I want you to get better, and I need to get better.” I teach my team that none of us will get better if we’re all acting like assholes. If we’re on a bad frequency, we need to change the frequency. How to get off the bad frequency that kills the spirit starts with lifting – dual meaning. The beauty of sports is how it forces you to exercise free will to decide which frequency you want to be on.
This week is “Light My Fire” week in the gym. I have changed my frequency because I can’t waste any more time on this Earth being depressed over assholes who don’t want to change. “Light My Fire” has been on my workout music play list for my entire 44-year workout career and always will be. It’s unfair to choose a #1 Classic rock workout song because all 100 songs in my top 100 are masterpieces. Every one is a work of genius. But I have a strong case for making “Light My Fire” number one. Try it. Download it, pay for it, and play it for an entire workout. Press replay, set after set. See what happens. The key to lifting, both kinds, is to keep your fire lit and to light someone else’s fire. None of us has the right to kill the fire. A link to the Light My Fire video is after my signature.
This is an excerpt from a new book I’m writing at this moment called “Lifter’s High.” My goal is to finish it before June 15. The book will be released right after “Hashtag Peace” sometime this summer. The point of both books is to spread my message: “This team needs to get better, I want you to get better, and I need to get better.” May you never stop lifting.
Gino Arcaro M.Ed., B.Sc., Level 3 Nat’l Coaching Certification Program
Head coach – Niagara X-men football
head coach- Robert Bateman High School – GO WILD.
Owner – X Fitness Inc.
Gino Arcaro is a widely published author. His website, blog, Youtube channel, and list of books are at: www.ginoarcaro.com His books include: 4th & hell: seasons 1-5, Soul of a Lifter, SWAT Offense, SWAT Defense, X Fitness Workout System, and a 3 business book series called Soul of an Entrepreneur . He also has written 20 editions of 6 law enforcement academic textbooks. A new 8-volume interrogation book series will be released in the spring of 2014. And just released, a new children’s book called “BE FIT – DON’T QUIT.” His latest book on human potential called “Hashtag Peace” is at the editing stage. He is currently writing “Lifter’s High.” Both will be released soon.