Blunt Talk Fitness Leadership Motivation

Approval junkies – If everyone likes you…

Item 1. I am not a football fan. I don’t watch a lot of football because my life has focused on coaching football, not watching it. I don’t have any connection with pro football or university football where you have the best of everything. My coaching reality is in the worst Football Poverty. It takes up all my investment – intellectually, emotionally, financially, and spiritually.

Watching football is not on my list of priorities because coaching football takes up enough time. I love football but I don’t love it that much. I love the teams I coach but I don’t love other peoples’ teams enough to sit on a couch for 3 hours cheering for strangers who will never reciprocate. During my limited football viewing, I have seen a deterioration of tackling form. Some tackles are miracles – miracles that there aren’t more broken necks and deaths. I banned shoulder tackling and tackling below the waist in March, 1985. At the same time, I banned missed workouts. We just produced a video and an e-book that teaches our SWAT Tackling curriculum that has produced a 30-year perfect record since 1985 – no death, no broken necks, no paralysis, no catastrophic injuries, and no reported defensive concussions.

Football is a matter of life and death. It is unimaginable and unconscionable for young people to die or become paralyzed for life for playing a game. Forty perfect seasons in a row of no deaths, no paralysis, and no reported defensive concussions didn’t just happen. It took a lot of heavy lifting in the gym and SWAT Tackling curriculum. There is no skill more important in football than proper tackling. If you are a parent, I would ask every coach how he teaches tackling. I would never allow my children or grandchildren to play football for any coach who teaches shoulder tackling.

You can buy the SWAT Tackling video and e-book at or this Friday, November 20th.

Please enjoy this free preview:

Item 2. The biggest fitness mistake is not designing a workout according to #TheProcess. ‪#‎TheProcess‬‬‬‬ is the main element of workout success. Nothing just happens. #TheProcess determines the shape you get in or don’t. A new X Fitness video introduces the concept of #TheProcess.

Please enjoy this complimentary video:

Item 3. The X Fitness workout system has developed tens of thousands of students and athletes. The X Fitness System is intense because what I have coached and taught is a matter of life and death. I never have and never will believe in soft, comfortable workouts for what I coach people to do, which is high-risk activity. #TheItalians is a reality show, compliments of X Fitness Welland Inc. Episode 5 has been posted on the X Fitness Facebook page. #TheItalians is a small example of how X Fitness has won championship rings by building the best instead of recruiting the best, like the majority of coaches do.

Item 4. Life is truly too short to worry about who doesn’t like what you do, what you say, what you look like, how you workout, what you write, how you coach, or anything else that makes us all unique humans. Life is too short to give a shit about approval at the expense of your true self. Life is too short to be an approval junkie. Life is too short to worry about how many likes and dislikes you get on social media. If everyone likes you, you are like everyone else. That’s worth repeating – If everyone likes you, you are like everyone else.

Love thy neighbour/neighbour isn’t an option. We don’t have a choice about loving our neighbour/neighbor. The hard part is applying it when people don’t apply it to you. Hating is easy because it takes no effort, literally and figuratively. Hating is a manifestation of unresolved cognitive dissonance. It’s the outward expression of unresolved inner conflict, the wrong kind of fire that rages inside because something’s missing. Fulfilment and peace top the list of what’s missing.

Pray for your haters. Hating is a waste of time and effort. Forgiving isn’t easy. It takes heavy lifting to forgive – dual meaning. A lot of work and effort and a lot of soul-lifting. There are two kinds of people – depressing and lifting. The difference depends on fitness, the exercise of free will.

It’s not easy to forgive your haters but it’s not supposed to be because that’s what makes us human and nothing of value is easy. Becoming an approval junkie is the product of insecurity brought on by weakness. We all get weak when we get tired and run down. Living life as an approval junkie puts you under the control of people’s emotions. Until you break your addiction to approval, you will never be free. As long as you are an approval junkie, your thoughts, words, and actions will always be controlled by prospective members of your fan club, the club of approvers who you hope and pray will raise the number of likes on your big screen or small screen. The number of likes on your screen doesn’t count. Social media likes are not real. They are figments of the imagination. What matters is lifting – lift others whether they like you back or not.

I stopped giving a shit about being liked. The first time I was called a pig was during my first night shift as a cop forty years ago. Only a few weeks after I was sworn in after my 18th birthday. My police career lasted for 15 years, between 1975-1990. During that time, I developed thick skin through exposure to outright hatred and evil. Anyone who has fought crime on the frontline has been exposed to hatred and evil. The frontline of crime-fighting exposes you to the dark side of humanity, the side darkened by evil. It didn’t stop there. People will hold you in contempt as long as you compete for something. If you remain a competitor, someone won’t like you. Be a warrior. Keep fighting to compete in whatever field you’re in. Approval junkies are not warriors. Approval junkies have retired from their fighting career.

Blessingss and all good things to you and your team.


Tackling video trailer –

#TheProcess video:

Episode 5 of #TheItalians

Gino Arcaro M.Ed., B.Sc., Level 3 NCCP (Nat’l Coaching Certification Program)
Head coach – Niagara X-Men Football
Owner – X Fitness Inc.
Blogs – and

Host of Blunt Talk Podcast

Author of:
season24th&hell(redone)Selling H.E.L.L. in HellSOAL(Small)Be Fit Don't Quit Cover



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